Busy

It's been a while but I've been very busy. Life has gotten too all over the place for me this past while.
Need a break but of course there's no end in sight.
Three of my four children are in my home tonight for the first time ever. I'm not so sure how to feel. No one else thinks it's a big deal and maybe to them it isn't, but after waiting for ten years for even one to come home, having the three all together is a miracle to me.
Although, there is no undoing what damage has been done. My bones are brittle and my brain is damaged.
At least I have this moment. And now, if I were to die like I begged for so many times over the years then I can say I had almost all of them. I am happy now.
I no longer feel the way I did all those years ago thank heavens.
I suppose when things calm down I can begin to think about what I want to do. Yet, what if they don't calm down?
I will make them calm down.
I will stop being so busy.